Take responsibility she says? Easier said than done Right?!!!!
I was having a conversation with a friend a while back, about this very thing. We were talking about some of the challenges, we were experiencing in life at that moment. The thing I love about this friend is, she didn't turn our conversation into a pity party. You know those, "why me"? conversations! Well, she made a point that stuck in my head about being responsible. She made the decision a while back, that she was going to take responsibility for every aspect of her life, yes every aspect.
Saying that there are of course moments where she has a little voice in her head screaming, (you know the voice) it says " BUT ITS NOT FAIR"
I wonder where the concept of fair comes from?
Is it a sportsmanship thing? Fair play and all? Where did we get this fair not fair? My 6yr old is always finding things he thinks are "not fair" but as an adult Really!! Les Brown says "Life isn't fair it just is" and I tend to agree.
I think we have a slightly harsh idea about what it means to take responsibility. We see responsibility as blame. If you take responsibility, you accept that you are to blame, for the good, the bad and the ugly, you've created in your life. That in it self sounds a bit ego centric don't you think?
Let me share my understanding ok. For me when I "take responsibility" I choose my response. In every situation, circumstance, relationship, I choose my response to it or them. So, if I don't like where/how my life looks right now, I choose to respond by looking at what I can do to change the way ahead. What new habits can I put into my life, to replace the habits that aren't serving me. I can also choose, to respond by criticising myself for the mistakes I made, for the silly decisions that landed me in this mess, for the seeds I sewed that give me these fruits that I really don't like and that just tastes awful.
My life coach and mentor, The Me Mastery Mentor +Kuumba Nia taught me that life, people, situations around me are a mirror that reflects who and how I show up, who I'm being in my life. I gotta be honest, that idea did not sit well with me at first. Why? Because there were people, relationships and situations in my life who were being a Royal pain and I didn't want to look at that in the mirror and admit any of that was a refection of me, No thank you!.
Look at it this way though, if you got up this morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like your outfit, you'd just go change the outfit right? Of course I'm simplifying it. Here's the good news. It's not easy but it's completely worth it. The tool we used to look into this mirror was kuumbas book The Circle of One How to Heal Your Relationships and Live Your Truth. The book was a wondeful read. In true +Kuumba Nia style it tells you some much needed home truths, in a no BS, straight talking but at the same time nuturing and loving way too.
Like everything in this personal development and growth journey it's a process. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness and love you would give to you're best friend in the world. I can't remember who said it but someone said, we often treat complete strangers with more kindness than we treat ourselves.
Show yourself some love as you look in the mirror with love ;-)
I was having a conversation with a friend a while back, about this very thing. We were talking about some of the challenges, we were experiencing in life at that moment. The thing I love about this friend is, she didn't turn our conversation into a pity party. You know those, "why me"? conversations! Well, she made a point that stuck in my head about being responsible. She made the decision a while back, that she was going to take responsibility for every aspect of her life, yes every aspect.
I wonder where the concept of fair comes from?
Is it a sportsmanship thing? Fair play and all? Where did we get this fair not fair? My 6yr old is always finding things he thinks are "not fair" but as an adult Really!! Les Brown says "Life isn't fair it just is" and I tend to agree.
I think we have a slightly harsh idea about what it means to take responsibility. We see responsibility as blame. If you take responsibility, you accept that you are to blame, for the good, the bad and the ugly, you've created in your life. That in it self sounds a bit ego centric don't you think?
Let me share my understanding ok. For me when I "take responsibility" I choose my response. In every situation, circumstance, relationship, I choose my response to it or them. So, if I don't like where/how my life looks right now, I choose to respond by looking at what I can do to change the way ahead. What new habits can I put into my life, to replace the habits that aren't serving me. I can also choose, to respond by criticising myself for the mistakes I made, for the silly decisions that landed me in this mess, for the seeds I sewed that give me these fruits that I really don't like and that just tastes awful.
My life coach and mentor, The Me Mastery Mentor +Kuumba Nia taught me that life, people, situations around me are a mirror that reflects who and how I show up, who I'm being in my life. I gotta be honest, that idea did not sit well with me at first. Why? Because there were people, relationships and situations in my life who were being a Royal pain and I didn't want to look at that in the mirror and admit any of that was a refection of me, No thank you!.
Look at it this way though, if you got up this morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like your outfit, you'd just go change the outfit right? Of course I'm simplifying it. Here's the good news. It's not easy but it's completely worth it. The tool we used to look into this mirror was kuumbas book The Circle of One How to Heal Your Relationships and Live Your Truth. The book was a wondeful read. In true +Kuumba Nia style it tells you some much needed home truths, in a no BS, straight talking but at the same time nuturing and loving way too.
Like everything in this personal development and growth journey it's a process. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness and love you would give to you're best friend in the world. I can't remember who said it but someone said, we often treat complete strangers with more kindness than we treat ourselves.
Show yourself some love as you look in the mirror with love ;-)
