Sunday 15 November 2015

Friends with Terms & Conditions

I envy my 8yr old Cub. His friendships are based on Arsenal Football Club and Lego. That's who is crew is and even if they don't agree on Arsenal they'll definitively agree on how awesome Lego is.


Where am I going with this? A friend recently told me not to share with her something that I'm developing.  I'm really excited about it. It's something I've chosen  to build and put my time an energy into.  It's bigger that me and business. I get to be surrounded by amazing people. I get to influence and effect peoples lives in a positive way. Of course if change and growth is what they want, and if the timing is right.
"Time is the Master" (classic reggae song by  John Holt). Just thought I'd throw the video in ;-)

So this friend messaged me back and said "don't tell me about that stuff (i'm paraphrasing) tell me about your life, about when we can have coffee and catch up".
And my first reaction was not very enlightened at all it went  F***K YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON.
How can you call yourself a friend but you only want to hear, about some parts of my life and not others and have the cheek to say which parts, I'm allowed to share with you and which not.
That's what I call "terms and conditions".
When I think of the friends I really care about. You know, the ones that are like family to you and You love them to bits.  Whatever they choose to do with their lives as long as their not deliberately hurting anyone I really believe I'd support them.

SIDE NOTE!: My Real Friends are there in the highs and lows. They call you on your S*IT and they celebrate you, cry with you, pick you up when you fall. Love all that who you are.

I might not understand what they do. I have friends that are bankers I have no clue what they do I really don't get it. I do however know that he's a great guy.  Genuine straight up no BS good people.
Am I being over sensitive?! Absolutely. I shouldn't take it personally.  It's one of my mantras. "Don't take anything personally". Everything every one says, does towards you is never about you and always about them. The good the bad a the loving it's always all about them.

SIDE NOTE!: Don't take anything personally 
I guess my lesson as I type this and reflect is Don't take it personally. Everyone is different.  I do however have to re-evaluate our friendship. To be aware of the agreements, of "terms and conditions" that come with a particular friendship. To stay true to myself.   I found this great video with Bishop T D Jakes about types of friendship. It's incredible how he breaks down the kids of people/friends that come in and out of our lives and how each type is a blessing (if you let it be so) .

Enjoy! Bishop T. D. Jakes on Three Types of "Friends"



The principle "Don't take anything personally" is taken from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz  

Keep on growing!!! #learnsharegrowPlease leave comments below, share this post and most importantly enjoy!!! 


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