Feeling Merry looking Back!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Well, that went rather smoothly. That being Christmas lunch. The only slight hiccup was, that our guests went from 6 to 3 without warning and potential drama but we rolled with it. It's been a lovely day.
All done stuffing my face. My sister has gone for a walk and cub (my son) is glued to his new tablet.
So I thought I'd relax with a glass of sparkly stuff and fancy Christmas chocolate biscuits. There's always room for fancy biscuits right!!

I got an email last week from Caroline Shola Arewa. It took me awhile to get around to reading (today, a week later). Even so I'm really glad I did. Caroline Shola Arewas' work is all about energy. Living life in/with high energy.
That message really resonates with me. Especially as a person who naturally has high energy and was often told to slow down, clam down, chill... Thankfully I'm not around people like that anymore.  I'm now around people that love and celebrate my energy.  I've even achieved positions of responsibility and importance because of that energy.
Anyway the thing about Sholas' email I'd like to share with you was this; Appreciative Reflection. The idea is to celebrate your achievements, recognise the blessing and highlights of 2014.  I love this idea, Appreciative Reflection! Why not!
I see and hear so many people feeling sad, finding the faults of the year, and of this month. They just cant wait till it's over. 2014 was SHIT, they say as they reminisce about all the things that went wrong.  A very close friend died this month. She lost her battle against cancer. The thing about her was that even as she went into the hospice, just a few weeks before she died, she was filled with hope, positivity and the fun way she always looked at life.  She went straight through hell with a smile until she left us for the stars :-). .

Side Note! Human beings are the only animals who'll sit in their proverbial shit and not move. They'll be covered in it, complain how it stinks, how they know it's bad for them, how they can't move blah blah etc etc. Other animals shit and leave. hhhmmmmmm!!!

So back to the email I just read. Caroline Shola Arewa gave some wonderful questions to guide us through the process of Appreciative Reflection. Here they are;

Look back at 2014

1.     What have been your biggest achievements in 2014

2.     How have you evolved as a person?  -  Challenges, insights, vision, mission

3.     What were your magical highlights in 2014?

4.     Who and what are you most grateful for?

5.     Is there anything that no longer serves you and needs to be released?

Look forward into 2015
1. What is your main Vision and focus for 2015?
2.  What is your one big goal for 2015?
3.  Create a wellness commitment for 2015 
4.  What new skill do you need to develop in 2015?
5.  How will you be in greater alignment and service in 2015?

I'll be working through my questions once I'm done writing this.

I hope you had a fabulous Christmas however you spent your day.
Remember, don't look back in anger at 2014, look back in appreciation. You made through a whole year and that's not guaranteed.

R.I.P my lovely Josie Cichockyj.
You have been an inspiration to many in life. Your legacy of love, laughter, drive and determination will continue to inspire us.
A Simple Tribute: http://youtu.be/_zJEierUJVU

Merry Christmas and an Abundantly Prosperous 2015

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Yes! He knows he's Amazing!!

Cub at 3yrs Old

From before my cub (aka my son) could even talk he had such presence, a really solid sense of self. It really threw me and I remember thinking,  "how does he know"?  Speaking to my family and friends who help me raise him, we agreed that children seemed to be born connected. Born knowing who they were and very much in touch with their power.

So then what happens? All sorts. School for a start, aka the beginning of comparisons and conformity. My cub bless him, is Master contraire. He has to do the exact opposite of what you tell him and at the young age of 7yrs, he can give you pretty good reasons why he chooses to do the opposite.  He is also adamant that he doesn't appreciate being told what to do. Attitude and cheek of a teenager (ALREADDY!!! WTH!!!) I thought I had 10 more years of sweet cuteness at least.  

The thing about being a single parent that always throws me, is how much I adore my cub, he's my favourite in the universe. I love it that he questions everything. That he talks to me and expresses his feelings and opinions freely. The flip side is he can drive me CRAZY! I  do often clarify to him that he doesn't "make me angry" I react in anger to something that he does. I'm in charge of me. 

Side Note! I really don't even think I had opinions at age 7, and if I did I curtainly kept them to my self. I was brought up old skool "children should be seen and not heard", "do as I say not as I do", keep out of big people business". 

So for me sometimes I wish he would shout the hell up, do what he's told the first time and question everything EXCEPT ME!! and what I say. 

Modern parenting!!. 

Saying all that, I'm not alone. I speak to other parents and friends that help bring up kids in modern families, of these mordern times and it's a tough gig. 

I want to bring up a confident, empowered young man so It's a learning curve.  My Mummy says "children are supposed to evolve their parents" She feels that I evolved her as a mother (which is a HUGE complement because she's the best Mummy EVER!!) and my Cub will definitely evolve me. Hell he's already travelled more than I had at 17 by age 7. 

So evolution is neigh!

In my growth journey as a modern single parent, I've found great tools. Tools to help me guide him through his childhood journey.  First tool, both blood and choosen family. Priceless!  No need to play SUPER MUMMY! 

Last year I meet another single mum. An amazing lady called Dawatiie.  She founded, bulit and runs a business call Holistic World at the same time as going through a divorce and bringing up two small boys. She totally inspired me. Especially as an entrepreneur, woman and mother.

Holistic World is a company that provides a range of resources to assist and contribute towards a holistic lifestyle for both adults and children.

Side Note! If you think you've got it tough, there's always someone who has bigger badder challenges than you and comes out shinning and smiling.

"You can go straight through hell with a smile"

Dawattie has collaborated with Artist and Graphic Designer  Angela Cutler to create the most wonderful affirmation cards for children. The Magnificent Me, Magnificent You Empowerment cards provide children with positive food for thought to support children in the knowledge that they are unique and special with many gifts at their disposal to support them on their life's journey. 

 And I just LOVE that! Don't you?!

The card in the picture reads:

"I Lead By Example"

Walk your talk, lead by example. Let your actions glow bright, lighting up a path for others to follow.

Cub loves his cards. It makes sense that he does, as they mostly reaffirms truths he instinctively knows. Awesome! Isn't it! ??

This same powerhouse female team of Dawattie and Angela also created the 1st of a series of childrens books, The Magnificent Me, Magnificent You.  The Magnificent Me, Magnificent You, Grand Canyon story and activity book, empowers  young children to nurture their physical selves, develop their emotional wellbeing, whilst also building on their knowledge of the world they live in.

I don't have a Cubs' verdict on the book yet because it's a Xmas present and it's even signed by the author Dawattie.  

I love anything that makes my life easier and gives  Cub his own tools that help him own his greatness is a mega bonus for me. 

I really don't want him to wait until he's in his 30's to wake up and reconnect with the higher version of himself. I want him to walk with, own and evolve continuously, throughout his life's journey with that higher version of himself.

It makes me smile just thinking of it.

  

I had a wonderful childhood. My close family always loved and supported me. Even so I put so much value on the opinion and criticism of others and doubted myself. I hope to at least give cub the gift of skipping all that BS.

That's part of the master plan anyway but I'm only a part of it. It's really his show, his life, his power. 

Websites, tools and people I mentioned:

Holistic World

Angela Cutler

Magnificent Me, Magnificent You, Empowerment Cards for Kids

Magnificent Me, Magnificent You, The Grand Canyon Written Dawattie Basdeo, Illustrations Angela Cutler

 

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Timeout Please!

I'm mostly calm, smiley and positive. I avoid, dodge and run from drama as well.  I'll tell you the main reason I'm that way, I believe that life will always bring you, what I call "legitimate problems", so there is no need for me to go out and create extra. 

In fact, If I'm living in joy, laughter and positivity most of the time, I can normally handle the "legitimate problems" when they come along.

Well these few weeks, my life has been dramatic. The universe is throwing me some "legitimate problems". So much is coming at me, all at once.  

So on my weekend without my son (I have joint custody of my cub)  I abstained from life, for two whole days. It was me, my sofa, leftovers and Arrow tv series. (Side note: I love anything with Marvel, DC Comics and Manga origins). Yes! I watch 2 seasons of it. I felt like I was just too tired to deal. So I pushed the timeout button.

Now normally, pushing the time out button, comes with guilt, judgement and criticism. 

"Wait a minute" I hear you say, I thought you were on your own? Exactly! 

I don't know If you figured it out yet but sometimes your biggest judge and critic is you.

That they didn't show up this time, I definitely noticed and it took me by surprise.  

I just went with it and I actually felt good in my timeout. I think it was a case of having no more space in my head to think straight. I was also tired after a busy week. 

I knew I had to start thinking of solutions.  This was no time to hide. Now that I think of it, it felt like I regrouped. 

After my two day timeout it was time to pull some stuff out of my magic bag! Time to think outside of the box, as they say. At this point I wanna throw away the box, cause that "in box thinking" got me here in this mess.

I'm looking at each problem without judgement or criticism.

It's time to be solution conscious woman! (I tell myself) Time to ask powerful questions. Is it easy?  Hell to the no! Is it simple?  Actually yes it is. 

Could I have avoided some of these problems? Some of them definitely!  Saying that, some of them are just life in it's flow I think. These challenges, they force me to get creative.  To really grow. I'm the one telling the universe every day that, I'm the Higher She, a higher version of myself.  Maybe problems are the universe saying to me, "prove it lady" "show me what you got" 

 
I'm taking responsibility to be that higher she! but guess what? Doest that mean I need to create my future? To be creative right now in each moment? So in fact I need these challenges, life's legitimate problems.  How simple is that?

The truth tends to be right!

The main thing I'm mindful of is my reactions. I totally have the urge to have a tantrum and throw things, but what difference would it make? 

When I did that as a teenager I still had to tidy up after the storm and now as an adult I still have to. 

So I just cried a little. I think it released my feelings of frustration. Then I took a some deep cleansing breaths. I smiled, at the realisation of who I am now it times of trouble. Then I made a cup of Rooisbos tea and wrote this all down.

This too shall pass, It always does :-)

 

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