As a child when I asked my wonderful Mother for guidance about what to do, what course to choose, what to study as a degree, what Uni to go to, her answer always ended with something like "follow your heart hon" OH MY LORD!, that used to drive me nuts.
Other kids complained that their parents told them, what to study, what to be when they grow up, I was dying (or thought I was) for some straightforward "do this" "don't do that".
As I got older and even more so now that I'm a mother I get what she was doing or better still preparing me for.
The older I get I also realise what an incredible woman my mother is. No, I didn't always appreciate her ways or point of view but now I soooooo do.
You see, I think it's divine because she prepared me for MY life. Not A life, or life in general as a concept. Nope, My Mummy fixed me up for My life. Let me explain.
I'm gonna give you the short version and if I ever write a memoir you'll get the full story.
So short version.
SIDE NOTE:
I would write a memoir not an autobiography because memoir is just a nice word to say don't you think? ;o)
I grew up with my grandparents in Kingston Jamaica 'till age 10.
At 10 I came to London to live with my mummy. I studied English Literature and Art A levels and my Degree is in Fine Art and Art History. Uneventful really except my family are ALL professionals, Doctors, Engineers, Accountants, Pollitricks (not a typo). The only room for painters was my grandfather the Carpenter and my other grandfather the Architect.
So my point is I went my own way, always and in everyway.
And after studying my career has been the same. No need to bio that but it's my own road.
I dug it up, trudged along, explored, made mistakes, had a blast and kept on moving.
This blog came to me because I had brunch today with a lovely friend who I haven't seen for ages and we had a wonderful catch up. We came to the conclusion that the lives we created, as women of colour both from the Caribbean, in our Fabulous Forties and as mothers was not "normal" but it is completely just right for us. We made decisions for ourselves and our children because they felt like the right things to do and we're guided by some pretty strong principles.
Principles like
- Do the right thing and you'll know what that is
- If they don't pay your bills you don't have to buy to their opinions
- Have manners
- If you know better do better.
Those were the main ones that got us this far and we both agreed we're still learning and growing.
I've also come to the conclusion that just 'cause nobody's life looks like yours doesn't mean there's something wrong with your life.
Furthermore, you can learn and model different things from different people. You just have to trust what to take for yourself because it works for you/serves you and what to leave well where it is because it doesn't work for you/serve you.
That's how my wonderful mummy prepared me for MY LIFE!!!
Partly anyway, she did so much more and continues to be the most amazing model of Motherhood and Womanhood I could ever have.
Until next post/time happy Growth Games.
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