What's The Big Hurry!!!

Have you ever been on a Ryanair flight and as soon as the plane hits the Tarmac, you hear the clicking of seat-belts being undone. The flight attendant announces (with a tone of annoyance, because she probably says hundreds of times a day) "please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened until the seat-belt sign is switched off"

Where are they rushing to? Are they trying to get a head start through the doors that aren't open yet? Or make it first down the stairs that aren't there yet? And did you ever notice that those same people, that literally wanna knock you over so they get out first, are always there waiting to pick up their bags? Nothing happens quicker for them because their in such a hurry. What's your point Evette??

I randomly found a pdf/book on my tablet that I completely forgot I had. 

It's called The Majesty of Calmness.
Ironically or not I was reading it on a 2hr flight to Madrid where I noticed the "big hurry people" from a new perspective. What's the big hurry?

This incredible book was written by William George Jordan and originally  published in 1902
But the principles and social commentary is so relevant to our time here and now.

The following is taken from a chapter called  Hurry, the Scourge of America

Hurry is a counterfeit of haste. Haste has an ideal, a distinct aim to be realized by the quickest, direct methods. Haste has a single compass upon which it relies for direction and in harmony with which its course is determined. Hurry says: I must move faster. I will get three compasses; I will have them different; I will be guided by all of them. One of them will probably be right. Hurry never realizes that slow, careful foundation work is the quickest in the end.

So as I read it, I had an instant reaction to it. I'm always in a hurry, I'm not a stress bunny about it. But as a single mother who runs two businesses life's busy. So imagine me asking myself "are my actions hurry or haste?" Haste remember "
Haste has an ideal, a distinct aim to be realized by the quickest, direct methods."

I tell you I never get tired of the simplicity of "truth" and the continuous learning life and times bring me.

Thanks to the awesomeness of the Internet I can share this incredible pdf/book with you.

It's 18 pages of pure gold that gave me a paradigm shift on a 2hr flight.

Stepped off the plane a slightly different version of myself.

I guess that's how quickly change affects you if you're open to it.

The Majesty of Calmness PDF

Keep on growing!!! #learnsharegrow
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Just Keep Swimming Swimming Swimming!!

If you're a parent of small children and you watch a lot more than your fair share of Disney/Dreamworks/Animation Movies. You'll get the Finding Nemo reference of "Just Keep Swimming" Let  me explain the reference. In Finding Nemo while looking for his lost son Nemo,  a father meets a absent minded fish 

(as you do). She often forgets where she is, what she's doing, but she lifts her spirits and his by saying whatever life gets her down, she just keeps swimming.                                                   

The point is basically to encourage him to keep looking for his son no matter how hard the journey gets.

Side Note! I love those films. I think when or if my cub outgrows them, I'll watch them anyway. They often have some thought provoking and empowering messages hidden the tale.

That reference brings me to, a conversation I had yesterday with a friend. She's phenomenal lady. She's an author, coach, speaker, trainer and single mother of a teenage and a toddelr. I spin out just saying all that nevermind about living it.  Anyway we were discussing the sacrifices we make sometimes. Times that we can't be with our children.
Times we have to be up early and up in the crazy hours in the morning. The thing is her vision for the life and legacy she creating with and on purpose is so huge, stopping is not an option. Distraction is not an option. Mediocrity is definitely not an option.

Building a foundation for greatness is hard. Being the best version of yourself is challenging. But growth and learning is so rewarding in my book. So what if it's not easy. I know just as my friend does that the work and the sacrifice and everything is a price worth paying for the life and legacy I'm creating, with and on purpose. So whenever life get rough, Just Keep Swimming! Swimming Swimming. Most importantly I think is to just enjoy the ride. But that's another topic right?!

Keep on growing!!! #learnsharegrow

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EMOTIONALLY!!!

How many times have you heard someone say "People, Human beings, We, are creators of emotion not logic?" As many times as I have or more? I've often heard it said when talking about appealing to a person's emotional side, in order to empathise, influence, inspire or even getting someone to make a decision. The right decision for them.

So I read this post on facebook and I shared it too. It resonated, made sense. But then it got me thinking and that gets me writing.
"Don't let your emotions distract you from what needs to be done. Control your emotions or your emotions will control you"
Again! I totally get it. I'll give you an example.
You know those days where you just have one thing after the other going pear shaped (Translation - very wrong) but you manage to keep your eye on the ball, you keep the main thing, the main thing. You manage not to get distracted, or to give in to the urge to just scream and shout or freak out. You really don't even have time for it today. Plus you know it's totally counter productive Right!! Right!!
But who can keep that up all the time? And doesn't all that energy, that emotion have to be released somewhere, sometime, aimed at someone?
You've seen that too, I'm sure. The moment when someone just lets you have it, full barrels and you know full well it has nothing to do with you. You're just there when the implosion hits. A case of wrong place, wrong time.
Speaking for myself.  Most of the time I'm positive, optimistic, calm and solution conscious. Other times I just let my B**CH out and let her rip.

The thing is both emotional control and emotional release feel great. Sometimes!!

A few weeks back my phone got grabbed by some guys on a moped while I was on my way to a meeting. I still went to my meeting, talked to really unhelpful police and equally unhelpful mobile company and, and and..... the day got worse.
I kept myself  calm and stayed solution conscious and that felt GOOD!

A few months ago working at an event and a special person (rude, obnoxious, so and so) came along and gave me grief, I let him have it! Briefly!!! And I'm telling you, that   felt GOOD!!
Now that I think of it I needed hugs and a friendly ear after both emotionally charged situations.

Side Note! I really believe there are no simple black and white right and wrong good and bad there are colours and shades and hues to infinity.

My take on the whole thing is simply this, be true to your feelings. Honor them but be mindful who's in control, You, or Your emotions?  Be it fear, love, doubt, anger, faith..... who's in control?

                                      
                                      And of course it's not that simple! Or is it?

I have a 7yr old boy aka cub and I teach him that he controls him. That no one makes him feel anything. He gives meaning to the situations and peoples behaviour towards him. In my mind he might as well know this from now.  It's not so easy though, when he comes home upset.

He doesn't want to do his after school club anymore. Some of the kids laugh at him cause he missed a goal or made a mistake.  He doesn't wanna hear me go on about "you control you" stuff, he wants to express that he feels bad about it.

He wants to be emotional. I tried to tell him that he shouldn't stop doing something he likes to do because of the actions of others. That he decides how it makes him feel. He wasn't hearing me. At that point I just had to listen and comfort him, as it wasn't the time to re-enforce a life lesson.  He just wanted to feel what he was feeling and I decided to honor that.  Oh! and not to mention stopping myself from getting pissed off at those little brats upsetting my cub. Such is life. So much to learn so much growing to be done. So stay true to you and how you feel! We are emotional beings after all Right??!!

Keep on growing!!! #learnsharegrow

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So What If You Dont like Me!!??

I was very blessed to be brought up by my grandparents until the age of 9yrs old.  So I had a very traditional Caribbean upbringing. Those raised that way know what I mean and everyone else, maybe I'll fill you in some other time ;-)  My grandparents would always say things that at the time made no sense to me but as I got older the expressions all made more sense.  I would find myself at random times understanding these expressions as the made sense in a particular situation. I could write a book I think called "things Grandma and Grandad used to say"

So the expression that's going round my head today is "What people think about you is none of your business".
That one was a puzzle for me for years.  Of course they never come with an explanation. I guess that would defeat the point of figuring it out for yourself.  But doesn't everyone like to be liked?
I had an interesting conversation with a friend as she relayed an incident between mutual friends who had a misunderstanding.
They decided that they couldn't stand each other. Even though they are both the sweetest people you'll ever meet.
The story got a bit playground, in the sense of "well! you don't like me so I don't like you either.
May I add that they are both GROWN people!
Anyway!
The thing that I kept wondering was, "so what if you don't like her and she doesn't like you?"
Aren't we big enough to take that on the chin now? I mean, you really have no control over whether someone likes you or not.  At some point in life you have to decide that people need to take you or leave you as you are and be comfortable, even happy in that.

My mentor +Marc Accetta says "Whether you like me or not is your choice, whether you respect me or not is mine!" What does he mean by that? Well it's simple really, be a respectful person, a person of integrity among other things. 
Marc is an very successful entrepreneur, international speaker and trainer. I feel so blessed to be learning from him.

So with +Marc Accetta as a mentor I've learnt too many things to share right now.   What I will share tonight was a HUGE catalyst, that created a paradigm shift which changed my life.  It's all about personalities.  I took a very simple personality test.  The point of this test was not to "find myself".  It was more about who I am and how I relate to other personalities.

Side Note! Have you ever met someone that just annoyed the hell out of you and you didn't know why but they just do? Or you met someone that just cant stand you and you have no idea why, but they just do.

So once I learnt what personality I was and how I communicate, I began to work on becoming a
better communicator.

I learnt how to interact with people who had personality traits that were completely opposite to mine.
It most definitely affected my relationships, especially with my siblings. I now know why I used to annoy the hell out of them lol!! Live and learn baby, live and learn!

So I bet you'd love to know what personality type you are wouldn't you?
Firstly here's a short intro video where Marc talks about the personality test. Please watch it before you take the test: Marc Accetta Personality Test
Then go to this link and Take the Personality Test

After taking the test you'll get an explanation of all colours. The personalities are described and grouped as colours, which is genius to me, as it's so easy to remember and recognise who is who.
I love this subject. I make an effort to study it, using this amazing tool that Marc developed called "Living In Full Color" .  When I think of how important it is to me to find ways to communicate effectively in life, relationships and business. I'm so grateful that I learnt these tools. Saying that Marc always reminds us that "You don't know what you don't know"

Keep on growing!!!

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So I lost my flow for a little

So I lost my flow for a little.  I'm referring to writing my weekly Blog.  I made a commitment to myself, to consistently write a weekly Blog.  I made that commitment for several reasons. To develop my love for writing, for sharing my personal development journey and lastly, but I think most importantly, to develop the habit of consistency.  I don't know about you but consistency is an area of development for me. So I chose to work on it.

Side Note!: Commitment! It comes off as a heavily loaded word these days, and for so many reasons. This is my favourite definition though. Commitment; "Doing the thing you said you'd do, long after the feeling you said it in has passed".

MMMMNNNNN!! Easier said than done right? Or is it? Like everything, I really think it's about my perception. If I think it's easy, it is. If I think it's hard, it's hard and that's up to me.  So I just decided to get back in the flow and it was easy.  I literally stopped listening to my excuses and just started writing.  It of course made sense to write about this.
I think the power, the magic whatever you want to call it is, making a decision followed by immediate action.  My goodness I have heard and read and said that so many times and I still stumble. Took me 5 weeks to get here back in the flow.

It just reminded of a great book called:
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Here is an amazing TEDx Talks by the Pulitzer Prize winning writer Charles Duhigg.
http://youtu.be/OMbsGBlpP30
It was incredible to learn how much of our actions are habits. I definitely recommend reading the book.

I'll end by saying this, if you do fall out of your flow, whatever you're flow is, whatever your commitment is. Don't freak out, be kind to yourself (it takes even longer to get back to it if you're busy giving yourself grief).

So don't SHOULD all over yourself ;-)  Just remember to make a decision to get back on your flow and take immediate action.  Trust me it feels good ;-)


Back in my flow!
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WHY ARE WE WAITING!!??

I remember as a child we had a tuck shop at school. They used to do the most amazing Chelsea Buns and Rock Cakes.  They were to die for and it was the best part of the day. If we got to the tuck shop and they weren't ready yet the cheeky kids would start a chorus of "WHY ARE WE WAITING" It was hilarious. I was fresh from a Jamaican schooling system, where children were seen and not heard and only spoke when called upon.
Old school stuff.

SIDE NOTE! What was once discipline is now abuse, "Sick" means cool and common sense has not been common for decades

Anyway, it just occurred to me that as a child we didn't like waiting. We couldn't wait for Christmas, birthdays and eight glorious weeks of summer holidays BABY!!.

In the Lion King Simba sings "I just can't wait to be King"
And if you've ever been in a long car trip with kids you hate the words, (all together now!!)
ARE WE THERE YET??!! 

Then out of nowhere, and I say that because I personally I can't pinpoint when it happens but we grow into this mode;
It's not the right time! Everything's about timing! This is the perfect time! I've got to wait till the times right!
See the difference?
Crazy right!! I hear all of the above a lot, in my work and life and I wonder, what on earth are we waiting for? Myself included.
Life happens now! Right NOW! It doesn't wait. So why do we?

When I found out I was pregnant with my cub (my 7yr old boy) It was definitely not the right time. I'd never seen myself as the nurturing type.
I thought I'd adopt kids some point, once I was where I wanted to be career wise. Here's the kicker, I'd broken up with my sons' dad 5 weeks before I got my happy news from peeing on a stick. HA!! Right Time?? HELL TO THE NOOOOOOO!!

I was 33 years old and thought "Well looks like I'm gonna be a Mummy, suck it up sista".
7yrs later that boy is the most incredible gift that life has ever EVER bestowed on me.
DUH, it's not been easy. There's been painful, crazy, madness, and a whole lot of growth. But I've transcended a lot to become the woman I am now.

I'm still left with that thought though, why are we waiting? 

When and by whom was that seed of thought planted? I think I play the waiting game less than most because I'm spontaneous by nature but I do have things that I put off that I know I need to do yesterday.

At this stage I'm just better at catching myself and taking action as and when I need to.

Just some food for thought :-)

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Clearing Clutter for Clarity

I might not look it but I'm not in my mid twenty's anymore.  So my New Years Eve celebrations are rather tame to say the least.  When I was out to lunch on January 1st, we passed several people throwing their guts up, having their hair held and back rubbed by that much needed and loved friend, it did take me back.  Back to the days when the 1st day of the year meant, please sleep through the hangover. If you didn't, maybe you woke up, hangover in full pounding swing or even worse on your way home from the celebrations, hangover in full screaming pounding swing.
Your mission, you and your group of friends MUST find, full English breakfast and it'll all be ok.

So needless to say as a single mummy and almost 40 I haven't rode that fun train for many years now. Cant say I miss it even.  

New Years eve for me was sitting down with my goals, game planning for 2015 as a worked through the Life Strategy Course I'm doing by Jefferson Santos . After lunch I joined a webinar hosted by Kemi Oyesola where she talked about "How to Think" and why we tell ourselves we "can't "do things we want to do.
After that I curled up with my book Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  The last thing that filled my head as I went to sleep December 31st was a chapter or rather process #14 Clearing Clutter for Clarity and that was it, goodbye 2014, it's been a blast.

I literally leaped out of bed on the 1st of January and started clearing everything out.
Nothing was safe or sacred. I started with the Kitchen drawers. Then the Desk drawers, then the receipts, the cupboards and shelves.
I was a woman possessed until I finished the last of the de-clutter madness on the 2nd of January.

It was one simple question that seemed to drive me on and on and on....

Is this item important to my immediate experience? Discard everything from your experience that is not essential to you now.
So I did and the energy in my home really feels different. I feel fantastic! Well downstairs in my home has the new vibes, I haven't got to de-cluttering upstairs yet.
The thing is, I'm always so amazed and grateful when things I learn just have such a powerful but simple effect on my life. It could be all new year optimism but it could be clarity.

SIDE NOTE!   When someone says they spent New Years Eve at home, it doesn't automatically translate as sad lonely person that you need to feel sorry for. Do try to take the pity look off your face. Some people like, appreciate even love their own company.

Happy 2015 everyone. Make it your best year yet because you show up as the best you ever ;-)

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