Take Responsibility!!

Take responsibility she says? Easier said than done Right?!!!!
I was having a conversation with a friend a while back, about this very thing.  We were talking about some of the challenges, we were experiencing in life at that moment.  The thing I love about this friend is, she didn't turn our conversation into a pity party.  You know those, "why me"? conversations!  Well, she made a point that stuck in my head about being responsible.  She made the decision a while back, that she was going to take responsibility for every aspect of her life, yes every aspect.

Saying that there are of course moments where she has a little voice in her head screaming, (you know the voice) it says " BUT ITS NOT FAIR"
I wonder where the concept of fair comes from?
Is it a sportsmanship thing? Fair play and all? Where did we get this fair not fair? My 6yr old is always finding things he thinks are "not fair" but as an adult Really!! Les Brown says "Life isn't fair it just is" and I tend to agree.

I think we have a slightly harsh idea about what it means to take responsibility. We see responsibility as blame. If you take responsibility, you accept that you are to blame, for the good, the bad and the ugly, you've created in your life.  That in it self sounds a bit ego centric don't you think?

Let me share my understanding ok. For me when I "take responsibility" I choose my response.  In every situation, circumstance, relationship,  I choose my response to it or them.  So, if I don't like where/how my life looks right now, I choose to respond by looking at what I can do to change the way ahead. What new habits can I put into my life, to replace the habits that aren't serving me. I can also choose, to respond by criticising myself for the mistakes I made, for the silly decisions that landed me in this mess, for the seeds I sewed that give me these fruits that I really don't like and that just tastes awful.

My life coach and mentor, The Me Mastery Mentor +Kuumba Nia taught me that life, people, situations around me are a mirror that reflects who and how I show up, who I'm being in my life. I gotta be honest, that idea did not sit well with me at first. Why? Because there were people, relationships and situations in my life who were being a Royal pain and I didn't want to look at that in the mirror and admit any of that was a refection of me, No thank you!.
Look at it this way though, if you got up this morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like your outfit, you'd just go change the outfit right? Of course I'm simplifying it.  Here's the good news.  It's not easy but it's completely worth it.  The tool we used to look into this mirror was kuumbas book The Circle of One How to Heal Your Relationships and Live Your Truth. The book was a wondeful read. In true +Kuumba Nia style it tells you some much needed home truths, in a no BS, straight talking but at the same time nuturing and loving way too. 
Like everything in this personal development and growth journey it's a process.  Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness and love you would give to you're best friend in the world.  I can't remember who said it but someone said, we often treat complete strangers with more kindness than we treat ourselves.

Show yourself some love as you look in the mirror with love ;-)

Me Facebook   Twitter  Instergram:evettelaunicafranklin

Just BREATHE!!

I'm sure you've had one of those weeks where it seems like so much is being  thrown at you all at once.
You feel like you're putting out fires all day every day and at the end of the day you need that calming glass of Merlot as you unravel yourself.

Well, I'm in the middle of one of those weeks and my mantra is "just breath" then I smile.

I'm telling you, it's totally working. When my blood is boiling and my heart is pounding and I feel the tension rising, I close my eyes, take a deep cleansing breath and smile.

I love it! I'm so grateful for my level of  awareness these days, because when I return to a more peaceful state, I can think straight.

Freaking out has never helped me, ever! And trust me, I used to  throw adult  fully  grown temper tantrums that would  make toddlers blush, shake their heads and walk away. Just ask my sister.

The woman that writes this blog today is a product of  years of amazing books, seminars, mentors and like minded people who are on a similar journey of constant, personal growth and development.

It's always wonderful to remember how far I've come. So I always love to share a great book, audio, video or something that's relevant to what I'm talking about.

This week it's The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Before I read this book it followed me around. I mean

it was everywhere! A close friend was reading it, it was spotted on another's coffee table, someone was reading  across from me on the bus. So I gave in and bought it and read it and WOW! What a paradigm shift  it was for me. The magic of being present in the  present has been a  gift to my  life.
So to the rough road I smile and say "this too shall pass".


I love these videos from;
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 1
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 2
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 3
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 4
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 5
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 6
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 7
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 8
Oprah Winfrey´s Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle Part 9

Yes I just had to put all 9 links. Why not! It's amazing :-) 
Remember that if Mummy's happy everybody's happy ;o)

Feel free to leave your comments, share with you're friends and peeps and follow my weekly chats, rants and observations.

Me Facebook   Twitter  Instergram:evettelaunicafranklin

LOL!!!

 

 

Life is so much more fun when I get some good belly laughs regularly.
One of my favourite things about being a parent is that my son cracks me up on a daily basis.
The way he sees the world and expresses himself is a constant source of belly laughs.
laughing is a funny thing, yes funny Ha ha of course but I also mean funny peculiar!!

People in general love to have a good laugh. I even think it's good for the soul. But what about when  you're in that group of people laughing at some poor sod? Do you join in? Are you ok with that? Does it feel horrible and uncomfortable? Worse than that what about the total dread of being laughed at dah dah dahhhhhh!!!
I'm about to randomly give you a whole other perspective on laughing.  Check this out. The  paragraph below is taken from an article called;

The Most Horrible Punishment
Posted on May 3, 2013 by Larry Nixon M.Min., Morrilton, Arkansas

For the Eskimo thief, there is but one sentence and it is carried out immediately. Everyone in the community participates in the execution of the sentence. It is a lifetime sentence, and it is so horribly feared that theft is almost unknown among Eskimos. Nobody wants to risk receiving such condemnation.

 

What is this most dreadful punishment which causes such fear among would-be thieves? Why is it so agonising to the condemned thief? The punishment is based on the psychological fact that all people want to be accepted by their peers. That is why people in close-knit groups tend to dress alike and have the same attitudes and habits — acceptance. Nobody wants to be rejected. It is not physical pain, but rejection that we fear the most. And rejection is the basis of the Eskimo thief’s punishment. When an Eskimo is caught stealing, everybody laughs at him. That is the only punishment he receives. No jail time. No fines to pay. No physical pain to suffer. Just laughter! Any time the thief is seen in public, he is laughed at. By everybody! For life! He feels rejected by his peers. Psychologists have determined that to be laughed at is the thing people fear most. This is the punishment for the Eskimo thief. It is the only punishment he receives, but like Cain, it is “greater than he can bear.”

There is very little thievery among the Eskimos!

Crazy right!!?? All that brings me to this, just be happy, laugh lots and remember that laughter is a very powerful thing. It's been proven to enhance the mood and relax even the most hard core stress bunnies among us ;-) Next time you have a good belly laugh just be mindful how great it makes you feel :-)

Me Facebook   Twitter  Instergram:evettelaunicafranklin

Do They Feed You? or Feed off You?!

People are really something!!  They very rarely surprise me anymore (older and wiser-ish) with what they do but what does surprise me more and more is what they'll put up with, in the name of DRAMA!!!!
I'm learning so much about myself and my old ways of thinking that it's made me hyper sensitive to the people around me.
The question lately has been; "Do they feed you? or feed off you?" "They" being my circle of friends.

You must have them too right?! Friends who you spend time with and they make you feel good. They're just great to be around and you feel energised when you leave them.  I think they feed you right?! Then you have the others. It feels heavy to be around them and as they tell you all their wows they also add that "you don't understand" as you try to lift them up, out of the gloom to show them their power/the bright side, or whatever. (or is that just me and my over zealous self) I cant help it, I see the good in things and people, Most of the time!!

Anyway those friends definitely feed off you and I feel literally exhausted after being around them.

If I'm totally honest it's my fault for two reasons (the exhaustion I mean).
Firstly' sometimes when people are in that gloomy frame of mind they just want to talk, to be heard and don't want my empowering, personal development "see the blessing/lesson" bla bla bla...
Secondly, I become emotionally involved and before I know it I'm enabling that person to feed off me emotionally. Hell!! I give them a straw. ooooppphhhhh!!
TOO MUCH LIKE HARD WORK!!!
I'm too old for that s**it!lol! ;-)

So I must remember, when around friends that feed me, enjoy and exchange the good vibes with them.
When with friends that feed off me nod, smile, limit the time and be aware of my energy. Am I allowing it to be taken? and DON'T HAND OUT STRAWS ;-p

I was listening to an Earl Nightingale recording once and heard a story of two friends.
Two friends went to buy the morning paper. One friend (let's call him Pete) was very friendly to the guy at the newsstand as he bought his paper but the guy was rude and unfriendly. Pete however still smiled and was friendly as he bought his paper and left.
As they walked on the other friend (Kelly) asked "why were you so nice to that guy he was so rude". Pete responded  cheerfully "Why would I change who I am to match someone else's behaviour?"
Interesting huh!! A very good question! Why would you?
But at the same time Pete didn't exactly stick around and make friends with the rude guy.

So my lesson was/is to be mindful and protect my energy ;-)
The best book I ever Ever read and worked through (cause there's no point in just reading great books) that taught me not take on other peoples CRAZY anymore was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Watch this short but wonderful introduction before you read the agreements below ok! :http://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements-introductory-video/

Pretty powerful right?
Well so are You! ;-)


Me Facebook   Twitter  Instergram:evettelaunicafranklin

Appreciate it ALL!!

I was just remembering being at an amazing seminar but not a normal sit down seminar, this was totally special.  It was called A View from the Edge and it was all about edutainment.  Which basically means experiential learning.

The environment was like a theatre and on stage the speaker, (amazing life/business coach, trainer and mentor) +Marc Accetta was on stage acting out scenes as though they were short films.  Each film told a story which held in it an important or several important life lessons.

The most powerful one for me was a hockey player who had a tough goalie who did his best to make sure he didn't score (as goalies do right).
The analogy was this, when life gives you obstacles (a goalie) it's a pain in the butt Yes! but when you score pass the goalie (win despite the obstacles) the victory is OH SO MUCH SWEETER) True or True!?

So I'm learning to be grateful for the obstacles and the challenges, the downs and the WTFs of life:-) Why? Because at the other side of them is a better vision of 
 me. The Higher She ;-)

Appreciate those who have hurt you, because they strengthen your heart

Appreciate those who deceive you, because they improve your wisdom

Appreciate those who slander against you, because they improve your personality

Appreciate those who whip you because they arouse your will to fight

Appreciate those who abandon you, because they teach you independence

Appreciate those who make you stumble, because they strengthen your legs

Appreciate those who denounce you, because they remind you of your shortcomings

Appreciate those who give you strength

Appreciate it ALL ;-)

 Me Facebook   Twitter  Instergram:evettelaunicafranklin

Telling your story can touch others

Summer time and the living is easy!!
It actually is. I'm a single mother and my son is in Spain for 4 weeks with his dad and family and I get to be me +Evette Franklin  for 4 WHOLE WEEKS! I'm on the final week and I have really enjoyed my me time even though I've missed my cub lots.
So I've been working hard but I've also been gallivanting, catching up with old friends and making new ones.
One of my new friends is a lady called Susi Oddball.  I met this wonderful lady in Brighton. She's a fantastic character, a personality of pure love, spontaneity and joy. As we wondered around Brighton with Susi and friends she very casually mentioned that we should do a radio show. Susi hosts a show on the Brighton & Hove Community Radio.  In my head I laughed an thought "HELL NO"!!! I though it would be great for my friend +Caroline Ainslie who is CEO and founder of Bubbly Maths.  She's climbed Kilimanjaro and so on and so on went my a list of how amazing and interview worthy I think she is.
 
So imagine my shock when the next day I was sat in the studio of Brighton & Hove Community Radio with mikes, wires, computers and Susi smiling at me and explaining that she planned to ask me about my journey as a single mother and entrepreneur.

It was AWESOME!! Susi made it fun and informal. She asked me great questions and I when I listened to the recording I was again shocked.
The HUGE lesson that experience that Susi wonderfully guided me through, was that my personal story can touch someone somewhere and make a difference be it big or small. Her radio show is called "Your Voice Matters". I love that title "Your Voice Matters". So whenever you can, do share you're story, your journey, your learning because your voice really does matter :o)

So here's the recording of my very first ever radio show Hosted by Susi Oddball as she interviewed me and +Caroline Ainslie . Enjoy!!!

Me Facebook   Twitter  Instergram:evettelaunicafranklin

Positivity and Transcendence or Denial and Avoidance

It's here everyone 2014!!
I know some people were glad to see the back of 2013 for different reasons.

C'est la vie!!

So here we are!! New beginnings and everyone is uber positive and full of the possibilities of a New Year.  It's a massive do over ;-)
Being Positive! I always see it as a good thing.  I am Missy Optimism, always look on the bright side of life.  Not just in January but the other 11 months of the year too.

                                                           That's just who I is ;-)


Don't get me wrong, I'm not Miss sunshine all the time, hell I'm a single mother and entrepreneur running two businesses, PTA, voluntary work etc etc etc, so I have my F**CK this S**T moments, days, weeks, months.
Sometimes I even let my inner Bitch speak her mind.
People are always surprised when she surfaces as it's rare but I don't believe in suppressing myself.
Side Note: I'm responding to not reacting to a particular situation and sometimes My inner Bitch is the correct response ;-)
You know it's true :-)


Anyways!! back to the point.
The point is, in all the books I read, the guided meditation, the power of positive thinking philosophy I live by, Am I naively ignoring the reality, of the crazy, messed up, psychopaths in charge world we actually live in?  Am I transcending my reality by focusing on the positive or am I in denial?
Avoiding the reality that we live in a "has the world gone mad" planet, that is messed up, on so many levels.  That on top of that, we are almost immune to the madness. Desensitised by media, movies and and the constant bombardment of modern day living.

A really good friend of mine sent me this documentary. After watching it I decided that it's important for me to be/stay positive but it's  important that I don't slip into avoidance of the real world we live in.
Take a look.
Tell me what you think about it.  Are you positivity and transcendence or In avoidance and denial? Or am I over simplifying it all?

Love, Reality, and the Time of Transition 

Written, narrated and audio editing by Bernhard Guenther
Visuals and video editing by Humberto Braga

Click Here to watch full Video 

This video sheds light into the nature of love, relationships, the “New Age” movement, reality-creation, quantum physics, objectivity vs. subjectivity and how it all relates to the topics of “conspiracy theories”, psychopathy, and the importance of self-work.

Love, Reality, and the Time of Transition has been selected as the #1 film 2011-2012 of the “Top 100 Global Development Movies”.

“The best positive, inspirational, thought-provoking movie of our times.”- RYB TV

Like My Page

Come Follow Me

 

 

Friend Me

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! be abundantly blessed :-)