If they don't get you SO WHAT!!!!

If you're doing something that everyone cheers for you, pats you on the back and supports you every step of the way hallelujah good for you.

What if that's not your reality? What if you chose a path that your family just doesn't get? 

A path that your friends roll their eyes at you when you even talk about it? What if your dream, your path, the thing that makes your heart sing, just doesn't make sense to your nearest and dearest?

How you respond to this depends on how badly you want to walk that path, which determines if you let other peoples opinions sway you from what you feel you're called to do.  Let's face it when you have a job it's enough (right, YEEAAHH!!!) you're employed, secure and that makes everyone feel comfortable.

However, choose to be an entrepreneur and my best advice to you is get used to clapping for yourself honey, 'cause there won't be many cheerleaders at this here game. 

I've been with a Network Marketing company now for 10 years. I love the products and services, I love the people I've connected with who are family to me and I've learnt to love the industry.

That, however, is not the attitude of many people outside of the industry and you really have to develop a thick skin and a strong WHY.

A strong WHY is the reason that you commit to do something , to build something. It helps you long after so called reality sets in and it's all much harder that you anticipated.

The incredible thing is there have been so many blessings, lessons and prizes along the way. Too many to go into right now.  One of the many prizes is a belief that I have in myself and why I do what I do and that I can trust in my knowledge that it is valuable for those who see the value, and if they don't it's all good. Adios amigo and don't let the door hit you on the way out.

This is not just about business, it's about life. Don't let other people piss on your parade because you're marching to music they don't like. Turn that shit up and keep marching.

I guarantee you that you will find your tribe, your crew, the people who get you.  Better than just get you these people will lift you up, help you climb to your next level and them being in your life will enhance it.

See, when we settle for conforming so that we fit in we miss out on a lot of experiences and moments that are only ours to create, we miss out on life. Don't ever be afraid to step out from the crowd.

SIDE NOTE:

Watch what everyone else is doing and do the exact opposite, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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Funny How It's All Connected

Have you ever thought about your space? 

Your home? 

Your rooms and how you feel in those spaces? 

I've had the opportunity to assist a lady who I call The Queen of Decluttering Helen Sanderson. That's even how her number's saved in my phone, Helen Declutter Queen.

Every time I have worked with her and her clients the experience blows me away.

Her clients are from all walks of life and the only thing they have in common is, they need help to declutter and organise their homes.  Sounds simple enough, I hear ya say, and why would you need help I also hear you thinking.

The thing is, everything is simple until it's not.  I've seen people suffering from genuine overwhelm and anxiety as Helen and I walk through the door to guide them through their session.

It's a whirlwind of emotions that she guides them through with such patience, certainty and grace. It's incredible to witness the emotional journey that happens as her clients start to choose what to keep, throw away, donate, and so on. Not only that you literally feel the energy shift as the hours pass. 

It reminds me every time of how incredibly powerful our mind is and how connected we are to our environment and spaces; for better or worse and everything in between.

                           

This Picture is taken from case studies on Helen's website  

https://helensanderson.com/declutter/declutter-case-studies-2/ 

 

I personally love to declutter. I grew up with my grandparents and they both kept EVERYTHING. It was hording central in every room of the house, workshop and garage. 

My Mummy on the other hand is a declutter nut. She's always finding ways to rearrange, re-organise, especially in her studio were she sews.

I definitely realise the lightness, I think is the best way I can describe it. Once I've cleared out things I don't need or haven't used for years, there's a feeling of lightness, of free space in my energy and in my mind.

Yes I've heard them say that geniuses are messy and that organised chaos is a genuine thing. I just know it doesn't work for me. Especially because I work from home, there is  a certain unspoken level of mess that I can cope with, which won't stop me from working and I can even ignore it.

Once my space get's past that level, one two many dishes, too much crumbs and fluff on the carpet and just too much paper on my desk, it's like a switch flips and I have to tidy, clean and organise.  Don't even get me started on what level of mess I can cope with in my Tween Cubs' room (my 12yr old son).

The true declutter happens at least twice a year because no matter how organised I am things just always seem to accumulate. It's a mystery right?  You ask yourself where did all this stuff come from? Why is it all here?

Are you a messy genius or neat freak?

I love this article I found on Helen's blog, that looks at why it's so hard to let go of things.

https://helensanderson.com/blog/2018/08/24/why-it-can-be-so-hard-to-let-go-of-clutter/

Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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You Lead First

There's a friend of mine that I got to know last year and I admire her so much.  She referes to this pandemic as "My Mate Covid" yep that's not a typo and I heard you say WHAT???

Let me explain, her experience of Covid has been 100% to do with her mindset and how she chose to respond to this situation.

She very quickly shifted her focus from all the things she couldn't do in her life and business and started to look at what she could do. She adapted her home, her life, her business. She even said that "her mate Covid" put her in a position to adapt and take action on things she new would be good for her business as well as things she had put off doing before.

For me her attitude is what self-leadership is all about.

BIG UP Lady/Queen Shakira Taylor fitness and business coach, check her out at https://www.facebook.com/fitnesswithshakira on Instagram  

I can only speak on my world view, on my personal experience of the world we live in.  What I see is a Leadership crisis. Our world leaders have been caught out. It seems as though they have no clue what to do and even worse than that, their actions show that they don't care about the general public.  It seems to me that we're just a big inconvenience to them and their agendas.  It's OK if you don't agree, this is my truth as I experience it.

I hope this pandemic (for those of us who survive) wakes people up, I really do. I hope after they get over the initial shock of job loses, inadequate leadership, confusion and fear mongering, they see that this as a time to make changes. It's time for us to be responsible for our lives, our families, our financial present and future. To lead ourselves.

SIDE NOTE!

"Everything rises and falls on leadership", says Dr. Maxwell, "but knowing how to lead is only half the battle. Understanding leadership and actually leading are two different activities." Dr. Maxwell explains that the key to transforming yourself from someone who understands leadership to a person who successfully leads in the real world is character. Your character qualities activate and empower your leadership ability, or they can stand in the way of your success!

Taken from; The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader : Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow by John C. Maxwell

So what now?
What can I do?
Who's around me?
Who can I influence?

I think powerful questions like those are always a great start. It's about being the example. I know pretty much every parent on the planet throws their kids that line about being the example. Well now it's time to eat our own cooking, and that's not always easy. 

Here's the kicker though. When you lead by example in your attitudes, how you treat others' and in your words, those closest to you  do notice.  Yes it's possible it makes no difference to them, but what if it does?  What if it inspires your child, your BFF your nieces, nephews, or a work colleague?

Then you're causing a positive ripple effect in your close circle of influence.

That positive ripple effect can go out into the world and spread to others.
Leadership is not about who's "The Chief", who's in charge and get's to tell everyone else what to do.
It's about who can serve the most people and you don't have to be in front in order to serve others. Just leave a person you come into contact with with a positive experience. Share some good information,  take the time listen to someone so that they feel heard.

One of my personal heroes is a friend of mine, who was in the same personal development and leadership program as me. Every time he spoke in front of a room he would say:
"If service is beneath you, leadership is beyond you". 

The truth is when we are tapping into the best version of ourselves I truly believe that we give others permission to do the same.

If everyone shines their light in the way that only they can, WOW what a world we would live in.

Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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Why Worry About it?

There's a lot of talk about worry, anxiety, stress and fear.

I had a conversation with a friend who grew up in Liberia who said "Stress was a word he learnt here" People didn't get stressed back home when he was growing up. They would say they were tired.

The way the modern world seems to be now it's it's filled with expectations.

What you must have, should do ought to be.

Let's not forget social media. That world of people showing you the best parts of their lives, those filtered moments of #lifestyle, #relationshipgoals, #winning.

Throw in some kids, a relationship with another adult and their expectations in the mix and of course it's crazy town.

Apparently not just in the modern world but it seems instinctively we worry about the possibility of things going wrong. I've read before that because our brains are wired to protect us, we tend to look for things that could go wrong in order to avoid them.

That sounds crazy doesn't it?

As if there aren't enough legitimate problems/challenges you'll have to deal with, your brain is just scanning for possibilities.

No thanks brain. I'm gonna have to take over.

I believe that's we're the power of mindfulness comes in. Our capacity to override the programming the automatic the instinctive.

SIDE NOTE:

Remember what we focus on expanse.

Meaning we get more of what we put our attention on.

Ever had a morning where you got up late, split your coffee, had to go change, missed the train and as you sit on the train you just keep thinking of the little shit going wrong. How long do you take that with you throughout the day before you get distracted by other thoughts, something funny or you just shake it off?

I heard someone say this and it stuck  with me, "worrying is like praying for something that you don't want to happen"

I'm guessing if you're a person who believes in the power of prayer it would make sense not to use that power for worry. 

So how about some instead of worry "life-hacks". As Taylor Swift says "Shake it of".  

Firstly physically move yourself to change your state from worry to something else.

Play your favorite dance tune, go for a walk or a run, leave the place situation that's causing you worry. Walk away.

Next what can you focus on?

What else can you choose to focus on.

Choice is our magic dust of life.

Yes shit happens but how long will you focus on the shit that happened this morning, last Tuesday, 3 yrs ago?

Right in that moment of worry, what small thing can you focus on that feels better than worry, that shifts your attention.

And the last thing you can choose is your language.

What are you saying to yourself?

It's all going pear shaped today (meaning it's all going horribly wrong).

What if you used my all time favorite thing to say to myself, "Everything is always working out for me"

My other favorite is to sing the chorus of the Pharrell song Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.

You can't help but feel better.

Remember you can always choose.

Yes we get hurt and our hearts break but we can choose if we suffer.

Yes this pandemic has been hell for some of us but we can choose to search for even the smallest blessings.

That one thing that's going your way, that one person who you can call.

That one memory that makes you smile and think of better days.

Because the only way through is through.

Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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I Don't Like It And I Can't Do It

Have you ever heard someone say that ever? "I don't like change"  "I can't change" " I'm too set in my ways" and so on and so forth. The reasons we don't or won't change are many.

The World/God/The Universe/La Pacha Mama (whoever and whatever you believe in) has a sense of humor and threw us the nuttiest curve ball EVER!!!

Enter COVID19, for us here in London 3 months of lock-down.  Immediate changes. ALL LIFE as we know it started to happen at home. Work, school, entertainment, courses, fitness. You name it was happening in your house and online.

People who before told me they hated video calls, couldn't be arsed with Facebook, please never talk to them about your home-based business, were open for all of the above and more.

Let's fast forward to today and 4 months later wearing a face mask is normal. Here in London signs about social distancing are everywhere and even if you're not wearing the mask or social distancing you notice that these new norms are obvious.

So I'm sometimes flippant about why we resist change. We're never resistant about the seasons changing so why do we resist changes in our personal life, especially change that would be good for us in the long run.

Trust me over the last 3 months, I've done more than my fair share of 21/31 day challenges in just about every area of life you can imagine. The truth is not all change sticks, but I'm definitely learning and I feel like I'm building a muscle that has made me more flexible for change. Especially change that serves me.

SIDE NOTE:

I'm a huge fan of Dr Joe Dispenza and he says this one thing that I do my best to remember when I'm working on making changes in my life.

"You can learn and change in a state of pain and suffering, or you can learn and change in a state of joy and inspiration! The choice is yours"

Why change? What's the point? It's not exactly easy, right? 

The last 3 months have taught me that we are all totally capable with the right motivation. That that motivation can be external, as in the government/society said so and we did it.

It can also be internal as in, "I'm sat here at home I might as well, what do I have to lose"?

I don't know about you but I've been on this personal development and growth journey for a while now and sometimes my old programming to feel wronged, hurt, right (because of course I'm right and you're wrong).  All that shows up and the more enlightened version of me is nowhere to be found. I either have to check myself or one of my Angels come along with love and respect and remind me of who I truly am. 

Let's face it, it's easier to be the best version of yourself when life is good and your children are acting like they have sense. When the World around you and life in general is filled with uncertainty, challenges and struggles that's when the best version of you really counts, if you can summon him or her that is.

So why change?
Well I guess If you're happy where you are there's no need, right?
The thing is that for me I'm not interested in change because there's something wrong with me. I'm interested in change and growth because the more I shift and grow and learn I realise two things.

Firstly, I realise I don't know what I don't know and there's no point pretending that I do.

I have a very smart 12 yr old boy, that is always willing to call bullshit if I pretend to know something I don't.
Secondly, there's always more. I mean really it's incredible there is always more to learn. There's always more that we're capable of and more that we can be, do and have.
Yes I know maybe it's cliche but I think a cliche often has a level of truth.

So I don't have any earth shattering answers, only some food for thought.

“It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. 

It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”

                                                              ~Mark Twain

Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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More Than One Voice

For me in the grand scheme of things I'm privileged. Yes I've had to deal with racism and sexism in school, at work. 

I've navigated peoples biases unconscious and otherwise. 

I've lived in countries where men assumed I was a prostitute because I'm black, even though I wasn't wearing clothes that you could even mistake as provocative or slutty. 

I mean I've seen prostitutes, they dress in a way and their behaviour  shows that they're available, and I wasn't ever showing or wearing any of those signs.

I've had pleasant professional conversations on the phone in English, Spanish and Portuguese. When I showed up at the reception desk, the shock and sometimes disdain was obvious because I didn't look or sound like the Evette Franklin they pictured when we spoke on the phone.

So yeah that's part of my truth. The other part is I've always had great job and business opportunities. Opportunities for education, for leadership roles. I've lived in cites that people dream of visiting. Traveled to parts of the world on peoples bucket lists. I have had and still have influential and empowering teachers and mentors.

So yes I say I'm privileged and perception is truth, isn't it.

That's my perspective. I know in many countries especially in the developing countries girls that look like me are not valued. It's considered a waste to educate them. They are the property of their fathers and their lives belong to their families.

SIDE NOTE: 

I hate those labels "3rd World and Developing countries"

I think they were created to make us feel less than and for me, nothing or no one is "less than" on our beautiful planet. These labels are a society/human construct of separation. 

Where am I going with all this? I'm privileged  to be a board member in an all female board of a NGO called Global Girl Project.

We run leadership and social change programes for girls like the ones I described above.

Before COVID19 this was delivered through and exchange programe to Nepal.  Can you imagine the mind expanding experience of travel for girls like these?

            

Before the pandemic we launched a very successful blended learning programe, which is online and delivered in Haiti and Nigeria.  We work with incredible partners and facilitators with the same mission to empower these girls to unlock the dreams and greatness they have inside of them.

Over the last few months the girls have put pen to paper and we have a beautiful collection of their stories.  Girls from 7 countries sharing their voices with the world. The book is Titled More Than One Voice

All we need is to get that book published and we're fundraising to do so.

For more info and to DONATE click HERE

This week I had the pleasure of interviewing the founding director of Global Girl Project Julia Lynch, on my Facebook live called Success Clues.

  

Check out the full interview. Click HERE to watch Success Clues with Julia Lynch

It was so much fun for me to spend time listening to Julia share her journey and vision for Global Girl Project.

Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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When ALL AROUND ME is Madness.....

All around me is madness.....
The World definitely feels that way in the last 3 months.  It feels like we are in one of those weird independent movies that wins festival awards and I watch it and think WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT!!

I feel like we'll all look back at this crisis, pandemic, whatever you choose to call it and ask WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! 
Let's not get started on the different theories about what is actually going on in the world and that we are but extras in the crazy movie.

NOPE not even going to touch that at ALL.
What I will share is my experience of the last 3 months, when it felt and still feels like the World was going Bat Shit Crazy. Yes that is my official labeling of this situation.

Like billions of people all around the globe this incredible storm came out of nowhere and it just raged. It had these crazy winds that destroyed countries, peoples livelihoods. It had massive waves that drowned whole communities, wrecked families. And no, we were definitely not all in the same boat.  It drove me crazy when people would say "Well we're all in the same boat" aahhh NO NOPE NO.

SIDE NOTE
About these boats we're all in, some of us are in luxury yachts, some in sail boats, some boats had holes and some of us don't even have boats, we had makeshift rafts, made of anything we could find.
So no, no way, were or are we all in the same boat.

So what did I experience? It's been a roller coaster really and not a fun one. Besides the fact that roller coasters do not equal fun in my view of the world anyway.

Suddenly school, business/work, entertainment, ALL FREAKIN LIFE happened in our home.  My home went from, a place I love to work from, to return to when I travel and our sanctuary to becoming THE CAVE.  I was trapped in THE CAVE with my 12yr old cub and his auntie.
To be fair we turned out be the most amazing company for each other as we adapted to this new lock-down life

My initial reaction was kinda silly because I work from home anyway but that shows the 1st trick my mind played on me. I'm still working from home but because now it was mandatory it became a problem, something I resisted. 

Then came what I dubbed "Zoomlife" not only was EVERYTHING happening at home EVERYTHING happened online.  For the 1st 2 or 3 weeks I was online all day everyday and I felt like I was sucked into screen life 24/7.

What a blessing that I am surrounded be growth folk. Yeah I guess I'm just making up my own words lately. I'm being creative right?
So, who are these "growth folk"?  They are my peer group, my peeps, my ride or dies, my soul familia. They don't follow any status quo, they ask powerful questions, they live life with and on purpose and we keep each other up, empowered, stretching, laughing.

We arranged calls where we worked on building our businesses, fitness classes, sharing our skills and knowledge, book clubs, cash flow games, calls to stay connected with each other regardless of where we live in the world not even limited by time zones. They feed my very soul. 

We shared content we had learned that ended up helping us navigate the Bat Shit Crazy and kept our compelling visions of our future at the forefront of our minds.
We reminded each other to live in gratitude, find the blessings, find something, anything that you could feel good about and on the days when you just thought, "please can I just get off this ride, sit in the corner of my room and drink a rather large glass of red wine", someone was there to lift me up again.

I'm telling you without this circle of people, without mi gente, I would have had a very different experience of this crazy storm.
I say all that to say this....
Please protect yourself, select who's around you. Take stock of who you are and who's you are.
The people around you either make life better, give you more good energy or they make life worse and drain you with their toxic ways and words.
Which just makes an already bad situation so much worse.

Who are you? and Who's are you?


Until the next post/time Happy Growth Games.



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